7. Tidying Up:
One of the main arguments teens have
with their parents and carers is around keeping the home tidy. The
arguments can range from tension over an untidy bedroom to complaints
when possessions are left draped all over the house.
These arguments can be one of the main
sources of conflict in the family home. Parents and carers can feel
that their teen is showing laziness by being untidy and that they
show lack of respect for them as well as lack of appreciation for
their possessions by leaving them lying around.
The best way of tackling this issue is
to decide on the areas that are negotiable and the areas that are non- negotiable.
For example, you may be prepared to let your teen leave things lying
around in their bedroom but not in the communal areas of the house.
You may choose to prioritise health and
safety by insisting that old scraps of food are disposed of and the
washing up is done but you may be prepared to ignore clothes left
lying around in their room.
It is important that your teen realises
there are responsibilities as well as rights when it comes to family
life.
When a child is very young, everything
is done for them. When they leave home they need to do everything for
themselves. At some point they need to start taking some
responsibility for themselves so that they can develop independent living skills.
It is helpful if every child is able to help with house work. That way they learn to appreciate
all the things that their parents and carers do for them as well as develop necessary skills for the future.
Once you have decided on your
priorities, you need to communicate them clearly to your teen. You
can explain the areas that are non-negotiable and insist that your
teen complies. Your teen needs to know the consequences of failing to
comply with your expectations. Any sanctions should be clear and
reasonable and you should be prepared to follow them through.
Not that these guys do much tidying up!
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