17. Breaking Rules:
I am posting this a day early as I am out and about this weekend.
(If you enjoy reading these posts and think you know someone who might appreciate them, you are very welcome to share them. )
The teen years are often associated
with rebellion and rule breaking. When we think back to our teen
years, many of us can recall refusing to conform with what was
expected of us. The degree to which we rebel varies greatly. Many of
us tend to conform more as we get older and it can be hard to
remember the time when we too questioned the status-quo and refused
to 'follow the pack.'
Some rule breaking is less serious than
others. It is important to remember this when your teen starts to
challenge the rules. Decide on what is important and stick to that.
Try not to 'major on the minors.' Try to insist that rules that are
designed to protect health and safety are protected even if you
sometimes let other rules slide.
It can be very upsetting if you have
enjoyed a strong relationship with your child and then suddenly they
start questioning you and refusing to do what you say. This is
actually a stage of development experienced to a lesser or greater
degree by all families. As teens get older they feel the need to
separate from their parents in order to establish their own identity.
Remain calm and stick to the essential rules. Make sure your teen
knows the consequence of their actions. If they deliberately break a
rule they should know what sanction will be applied. That way they
know where they stand.
They may appear to resent you for
maintaining safety rules but at least they will know that you care
about them and are determined to keep them safe.
If you are too permissive or you are
inconsistent in your behaviour, teenagers can find it hard to know
where the boundaries are and this can make them feel insecure.
Ollie was and is a rebel. That's part of his charm!
No comments:
Post a Comment