Day 59 Cyber-Bullying

59. Cyber-Bullying:

Cyber-bullying is an unpleasant form of bullying. The website Family Lives offers useful advice about this subject. Parents and carers can be totally unaware that their child is being cyber-bullied. They may not even have heard of the concept.

http://www.bullying.co.uk/cyberbullying/

It is important to inform yourself about the signs and what to do if you discover that this is happening to your teen so that you can give the best possible advice to them.

If they are being bullied on social media sites such as Facebook or Twitter there are buttons that can be used to report abuse.

You, as a parent, can help by taking interest in what your teen is doing on-line. If they become shifty when you approach them while they are on the computer this may be a sign that something untoward is happening.

Talk to your teen about keeping themselves safe on-line.

Learn about CEOP. They offer very useful advice about keeping safe on-line.

https://www.ceop.police.uk/

Even if your teen is not being bullied or doing the bullying, it is important that they realise that by sharing negative posts about others they are making life unpleasant for others. They are part of the problem if they get involved in this way. If they find that their friend is being cyber-bullied, explain that they can help by not sharing negative posts and encouraging them to stand up for themselves by reporting the abuse.

If you stand up to bullies by reporting their behaviour in this way, they are likely to leave you alone. If they continue with the abuse they run the risk of having their account deleted and further action may be taken against them.  

Days 56-58 Divorce, moving house and self-harm

56. Divorce:

Divorce can be a very painful experience for everyone. The people splitting up are suffering and so are their family and friends. Teenagers can find this particularly hard as they may have taken their family life for granted, only to discover that the family unit is breaking apart.

While it is impossible to completely shield your teen from family break up you can do a lot to ease the pain. Be honest with your teen. They are often very aware of any tensions in the family and

they may well have heard the arguments. They may not realise exactly what is happening and so they may be trying to guess what the problem is and many may wrongly blame themselves.

If you are splitting up with your partner make sure that you both agree on what changes are going to take place. One of you may be leaving the family home, for example. If this is the case then make sure you break the news to your teenager gently. Make clear exactly what will happen and how it will affect them. Make sure you agree contact visits in advance so you can communicate clearly to your teenager.

They are likely to be very upset and could lash out in anger. Aim to contain their emotions by listening to them and reassuring them that both parents still love them and will continue to be there for them.

'Family Lives ' offers useful advice and support to families going through this difficult stage.

http://www.familylives.org.uk/advice/divorce-and-separation/

It can be tempting to be critical about the other parent to you teen but this puts unfair pressure on them as they are likely to have divided loyalties. They love you but they also love the other parent.

It can be very difficult when your relationship ends, particularly if your ex-partner has treated you unfairly. It may be that they are refusing to pay maintenance and this could be leaving you in financial difficulty.

This may leave you feeling angry and again, it is tempting to complain to your teen but this is not their fault and it is not helpful to drag them into this situation.

If your ex-partner criticises you to your teen this can make it even more tempting to retaliate by pointing out their shortcomings to your teen. Try to avoid this as your teenager needs to make their own mind up about their parents and it is up to them if they wish to continue seeing both parents.

57. Moving House:

Many teenagers can find it hard to adjust to the news that they are going to move house particularly if this means that they will be moving out of the area where they grew up to move far away from their friends. They may find it difficult to make the transition to a new school, particularly if this is during their exam years.

If the house-move cannot be avoided, it is best to be honest with your teen. Make sure you give them all the details that they will need including what the new home is like and what their bedroom will be like. Arrange for them to visit the new area before you move if at all possible. It would be very helpful for them to visit their new school too. Once your teenager has the facts they can put aside some of their fears.

You can encourage them to stay in touch with close friends by allowing their old friends to visit your new home. Your teenager is likely to feel reassured that they will still be able to see them from time to time. They are likely to make new friends pretty soon but catching up with old friends is likely to reassure them in the early days.

It may be possible to keep your teenager at their old school if they are in the middle of important exams and then they can move schools once the exams are over.

If this is not possible then it would be helpful for you to make contact with the new school to find out what exam boards they use and how hard it will be for your teenager to catch up on any work they have missed.

Your teenager may adjust very quickly to their new life or they may take time to get used to new people and places.

Talk to your teen and listen to what they have to say. They will be able to let you know how they are feeling and then you will be able to support them through any difficulties that they are having with adjusting to their new life.

58. Self Harm:

It can be very shocking to discover that your teenager has been self-harming. It is natural to want the best for your child and to discover they are harming themselves can be very hard to accept. It is also difficult to know what to do to support them. There are many reasons why people self-harm so it is a good idea not to try and guess the reason.

The NSPCC have a very useful website that helps you to spot the signs and gives you tips on how to approach the problem.

https://www.nspcc.org.uk/preventing-abuse/keeping-children-safe/self-harm/

It also offers possible reasons for this behaviour.

Many teenagers who self-harm don't really know exactly why they do it but aim to release overwhelming emotions that they have had difficulty dealing with.

Some teens who self-harm are also depressed.

Whatever the reason for their behaviour it is important to keep communicating with them. Listen to them. Try not to judge them.

If they feel that you are genuinely there to listen to them and that you accept them unconditionally, this will help them to feel less isolated and can help them to begin to find less damaging ways of releasing their painful emotions.

Day 55 Embarassment

55. Embarrassment:

The teenage years can be years of extreme embarrassment for some teens. Some change from being full of self confidence to being socially awkward and incredibly self-conscious almost overnight. Not only do they feel embarrassed at their own thoughts, feelings and words they can also become excruciatingly embarrassed by things that their parents and siblings say. This can offend their family. They may have been very proud of their family previously then all of a sudden they go to great lengths to avoid their friends getting anywhere near them.

They can stop laughing at your jokes and start rolling their eyes when you express your opinion. This can hurt!

Try not to take it personally. Accept that this is a phase and is very common. Many teens pass through this stage fairly quickly. It is part of them growing up and forging their own identity. They are starting to form their own ideas and opinions and these may clash with yours.

Keep listening to your teen and be patient with them.

Day 54 Puberty

54. Puberty:

The onset of puberty can be a difficult time for all concerned. It often occurs at around the age of 14. Your teenager may find all the mental and physical changes going on in their body quite overwhelming at times. At this time they are likely to be prone to mood swings and can lash out at their nearest and dearest very easily.

NHS Choices have useful information on the stages of puberty. It is helpful to know these stages so that you can best help your teen as they grow.

http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Puberty/Pages/Symptoms.aspx

This is a good time to listen carefully to your teen. Be patient with them, listen to them and they will appreciate that you really are there for them. If they want advice they will ask for it. More often than not they just want to know that you are there for them, willing to make time for them and listen to them carefully.  

Day 53 Friendships

53. Friendships:

To many people, friendships are the easiest thing in the world. They are uncomplicated and positive but there are many other people, adults and children alike, who struggle with friendships. Teens can find friendships even more difficult as the teenage years are a time of change. Teens often change schools and develop new friendships at around this time and peer pressure is very significant.

If your teen finds friendships difficult, reassure them that they are not alone in this. Let them talk and be prepared to listen. Sometimes they fall out with their friends. To you the reason many appear trivial but to them it can seem like the end of the world. Again, take them seriously, listen and reassure them.

Sometimes your teen has no issue with their friends, it is you that does not approve of their friendship. It may be that a certain teenager has a bad reputation and you may worry that they may become a bad influence.

Try not to jump to conclusions. What proof do you have of your concerns? Sometimes the information that circulates about some young people can be greatly exaggerated or completely untrue. Try and get to know your teenagers friends and make your own mind up.

If a teenager is leading your teenager astray and does not respond to warnings from you then it may

be time to intervene. Make clear your concerns to your teen and set your expectations. It may be that you are willing to let their friend come round to your house a limited number of times per week but you are not willing to let them socialise away from home, for example.

Day 52 Fashion

52. Fashion:

Many teenagers are very interested in fashion. They like to look good wearing all the latest trends. This is fine if what they wear is affordable and they do not take things too seriously but it can become a problem when teenagers cannot afford all the fashion items that they crave. Teenagers can be very competitive and focussed on appearance. It is important that they are able to keep this in perspective. It is nice to look good but there are many other factors to focus on. The way they treat people is at least as important as what they wear. If your teenager is starting to get too preoccupied by fashion you can help them by praising aspects of their character that don't relate to appearance. Point out the good qualities of celebrities without commenting on their appearance. This can help remind your teenager that society values many aspect of people's personality.

Some teenagers have a real flair for fashion and they may decide to take it up as a career. In which case you can help them by researching how they can make their hobby into a career. They could attend university or art college and gain a useful qualification.

There are a number of useful websites that can give useful advice on where to study in order to stand the best possible chance of success in this competitive field:

http://www.topuniversities.com/courses/fashion/guide

Day 51 Helping Others

51. Helping Others:

It is good to encourage your teenager to be helpful towards others. Giving to others and helping members of the community really helps make the world a better place. If you model being kind to others this is likely to rub off on your teenager. Even encouraging your teenager to be friendly and polite can make all the difference. They could donate unwanted toys to charities that give toys to children in need, for example. When teenagers experience the joy of giving they are likely to want to repeat this. Any effort to be kind and helpful to others is to be encouraged.

Sometimes just listening to a lonely person can be enough to help them. Being there for people and letting them know you care can help them to cope with difficulties in their lives.

Voluntary work can be very rewarding but more importantly the way you treat people on a daily basis has the most impact.

Teach your teenager that they should treat others in the way that they would wish to be treated. Do this yourself. If you wish your teen communicated better with you then try and improve the way you communicate with them. If you do this they are likely to respond positively to your new approach.

It is never too late to change. If you teach your teenager that being kind and helpful to others makes life happier for all they will discover that you are right if they decide to try it.

Days 43-50 Holiday edition !

It's the holiday for us teachers so I am all over the place and thought it would be good to post a week worth of posts in one go!

43. Exercise:

Getting enough exercise is very important. Some teens lead very sedentary lives, rarely venturing out of the house. If this is the case with your teen, you could encourage them to come out for a walk with you or join you in some exercise. They may enjoy swimming or dancing and could be encouraged to join a swimming or dancing club.

They may decide to take up jogging and you could support them in this by providing them with appropriate footwear.

In many playing fields now, a range of gym equipment has been installed to encourage people to get fitter. It is a good idea to model a healthy lifestyle yourself. If you get little or no exercise it is a bit much to expect your teen to start taking part. Maybe you could both take up exercise and encourage one another to get fit.

Establishing a healthy exercise routine will really help your teen in future.

A useful site to visit is:

https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/teen/fitness/Pages/How-Teens-Can-Stay-Fit.aspx

It explores a range of ways to get fit.

Little and often is the key. Some teenagers get very involved in exercise one minute and then give up. Setting small, achievable fitness goals is a positive way forward. Teenagers can reward themselves when they reach their exercise goals. With you there encouraging them and cheering them on, they are likely to start appreciating the benefits of a healthy exercise regime.

44. Inequality:

As teens grow they begin to notice life's inequalities. They may come from a family who hasn't got much money while their friends are well off, for example. They start to realise that life can appear unfair at times with some people appearing to 'have it all' while other people are starving. It is a good idea to listen to your teen and talk to them about the importance of treating other people fairly. You can tell them that they will have more influence than they think and that people will listen to them if they treat others fairly. We can all make a difference and set an example in order to begin to address the inequality issue.

Discuss Inequality with your teen. When something happens on The News and it seems unjust, ask your teen their opinion and be willing to share your view.

If your teen is given the opportunity to find out about issues that affect their world they are likely to become well balanced and informed individuals.

If they believe something to be unfair, encourage them to speak up. If your teen grows up with a strong sense of justice, they are likely to speak out when they see other people being bullied of treated unfairly.

It is simply unjust that some groups in society are excluded. If your teen feels able to discuss this with you they will learn that being well informed and being prepared to speak in defence of others who are less fortunate is a good thing.

When your teen goes out of their way to help others to ensure they are given a fair chance, this should be encouraged and praised.

Adults are in a position to positively influence their children. The way we can influence others is by being clear and fair. This involves listening to others, being willing to accept that other people have different opinions but if we truly believe something is unfair, we should be willing to stand up and be counted. If we can pass this message on to our teens it will have a positive impact on The World.

45. Lack Of Sleep:

Teenagers are growing rapidly and developing continuously, so it is important that they get enough sleep. The problem is that many of them stay up very late and have a tendency to want to lie-in in the morning. While this may be acceptable in the holiday, they need to get up on time for school and work. Studies have suggested that teens benefit from at least 8 hours sleep a night but only around 15% get this on school nights. This will affect their concentration and ability to function when given school work so is an important issue.

When teenagers are younger it is somewhat easier to influence them. It is a good idea to limit the amount of time they watch TV or play computers just before bed as it has been found that watching TV and looking at computer screens close to bed-time can affect ability to sleep. Drinking alcohol or having drinks containing caffeine can also disturb sleep. Don't forget, it isn't just coffee that contains caffeine, as energy drinks and tea also contain it.

If you can get your young teen used to a routine where they stop watching screens at least an hour before bed and they avoid drinking caffeine, they are more likely to sleep well. If they establish this routine when young they are more likely to stick to the routine when they get older.

46. Social Life:

Some teens are very sociable and have an active social life while others are less sociable and rarely go out. It is good to have a healthy balance between studying, relaxing at home and socialising. Some teenagers spend almost all their time out of the house socialising with their friends. They neglect their studies, fail to eat well and stay up late. At the other end of the spectrum some teenagers are very shy and withdrawn and hardly leave the house.

If your teenager is out for much of the time, it is advisable to talk to them and let them know that they are overdoing things. Let them know that they need to get their homework done regularly and that you would like them to be home early on set days. You could compromise by inviting their friends round sometimes rather than your teen being out all the time.

If your teen is very shy, withdrawn and never goes out, it would be good to try and encourage them to mix a little with other people. They may agree to invite a friend to the cinema if you agree to buy the tickets, for example.

Social Networking is a way for teenagers to communicate with one another. Sites such as Facebook and Twitter are used frequently by teens. Make sure that your teen understands how to keep themselves safe on-line and that they can report abuse via the sites so that they can enjoy trouble-free communication.

47. Popularity:

Some teenagers are very popular among their peers, while others have a few close friends. Popularity really matters to some teens while others couldn't care less!

Providing they are happy it doesn't really matter how popular they are but if this is an area that really affects them, you can talk to them about this issue. Some teenagers care so much about what others think of them that they find it hard to think for themselves.

Tell your teenager they are unique and that they need to discover the things that make them happy. They should not be so influenced by their peers that they stop doing things they enjoy. Teenagers often consider the opinions of their friends over the opinions of their parents. Sometimes their friends do not always offer the best advice. When this happens it can be frustrating to stand by and wish your teen would listen to you. If this happens to you, try to remain calm and continue to communicate with them. You may well find that they will eventually fall out with their friends and at that point they will need you more than ever.

We live in the age of 'The Cult Of The Celebrity.' People are propelled to success after appearing on a Reality TV Show, for example.

Some people become over-night 'YouTube' sensations. People compete to see how many 'likes' they can get via Social Media and they can become obsessed by receiving their share of the limelight.

You can help to combat this by noticing the kind things your teen does. Point out the 'unsung heroes' in society. These include people who help others every day such as fire-fighters and nurses.

If your teen realises that being popular is not as important as being a good and caring person, they will start to get things into perspective.

48. Tattoos:

Tattoos are very popular among many teenagers. Some adults worry about this as tattooing is permanent in many cases. Before going ahead with a tattoo it is important that you find a reputable, hygienic tattoo artist. Teenagers need to be 18 before having a tattoo.

Before going ahead, your teen should remember that their tastes may change and when they get older they may regret having a tattoo of something or someone they no longer have in their life. It is risky to have the name of a girl or boyfriend tattooed on their body, for example. They may think that they will love this person forever but this may not be the case.

They need to think where the tattoo should be located. It is a good idea to have it somewhere where it can easily be covered up if necessary. Some companies insist that tattoo's are covered up when you work for them. This could affect your teenager's job prospects in the future.

If your teen has considered the matter very carefully and still decides to go ahead they need to provide the tattoo artist with relevant health details. The tattoo artists need to know if their clients suffer from any allergies etc. After the tattoo has been finished they should provide their client with after-care instructions. Your teenager needs to be aware that although laser removal of tattoos can be successful in some cases here are many examples of tattoo removal failing or leaving nasty scars so they should take time to fully consider the costs and benefits before deciding to go ahead.

49. Religious Beliefs:

Religion can create unity or it can create division in families. Some parents and carers are religious while their teenagers are not. On the other hand some parents are not at all religious and their teenager develops a strong faith. This can cause tension in families. If you are religious and your teenager does not share your faith, this can be upsetting. They may have no faith or a different faith. If this happens to you or your teenager becomes religious and you are firmly against it then the best way forward is to listen to your teenagers point of view. Take them seriously and they are more likely to listen to you.

We are all entitled to our opinions and beliefs and reacting strongly to your teenager because their don't share your beliefs is unlikely to improve things. Try and find out as much as you can about your teenagers chosen religion. Being informed will help you to separate fact from myth. The important thing is to encourage your teen to live a good life by being kind to others. It doesn't much matter what a person believes it is their actions that count most.

50. Independence:

The teenage years are associated with increased independence. For some teenagers they become increasingly independent and make good decisions. Their parents and carers are happy with their life-choices. For other teenager's, their parents and carers find it very difficult to accept that they are becoming independent while some teenager's they are extremely reluctant to start doing more things for themselves.

If your teenager has a physical difficulty or a special need they may require additional support and

it can be hard to decide the appropriate level of risk they should be allowed to take in order to grow while keeping themselves safe.

In many ways it is a time of trial and error for us all. When we have children we are not handed a manual that tells us how things should be done. We have not studied a degree in Childcare and for many of us we may not have a support network offering us useful advice.

If we think looking after young children is hard at times we can sometimes find the teenage years even harder.

When they ask if they can go to a party we have to weigh up the pro's and cons before coming to a decision. We make a decision and we still don't know if we have 'got it right.'

It is fair to say we get it wrong sometimes and so do our teens.

Providing we have considered things carefully and have encouraged our teenager to assess the benefits and risks then we shouldn't be too hard on ourselves if we sometimes get it wrong.

We can admit to our teen that we made an error in judgement and that way our teenager will realise that it is OK to make mistakes as we can all learn from them.

Day 42 Volunteering

42. Volunteering:

Volunteering can be enormously rewarding and can provide young people with valuable work experience.

The following website can provide you with useful advice and suggestions about suitable volunteer opportunities:

http://www.volunteering.org.uk/component/gpb/youth-volunteering

Volunteering is a great way of giving something back and it can really raise your self-esteem.

If your teen is finding it hard to find a job, then volunteering could be an excellent alternative.

What is your teenager interested in? They may like being in the countryside so may appreciate Conservation Volunteering.

If your teen likes people they may be able to volunteer to help people.

They may like animals and enjoy raising money for a local sanctuary.

Any efforts to give to others in this way should be encouraged. A lot of satisfaction can be gained when you help others and encouraging your teen to try this for themselves could be an excellent way forward.

In addition to this, many employers prioritise applicants who have relevant work experience. They appreciate the effort the applicant has gone to. Volunteer experience also gives your teen something to discuss with their potential employer at the interview. Volunteering can help you to learn about others and to consider the needs of others rather than yourself.

(If your teen is claiming benefits encourage them to visit the Government website to check how volunteering could affect them:  https://www.gov.uk/volunteering/find-volunteer-placements)

Volunteering does not need to be formal. Just offering to buy shopping for your neighbour counts as volunteering and brings benefits to your teen and to your neighbour.

Being kind to people has its own rewards. Your teen will realise this if they give volunteering a try.

Day 41 Crime

41. Crime:

Teenagers can get involved in crime just as anyone can. If your teenager is committing crimes they run the risk of getting caught and this is likely to affect their future. If you suspect that your teen is risking getting into trouble with The Law it is important that you communicate your concerns to them. Make sure you have the full facts before confronting them as you will alienate them if you falsely accuse them of doing something.

Teenage crime can range from getting involved in violent gangs, to shop-lifting, drug taking and under-age drinking.

The following website provides you with useful facts.

https://www.gov.uk/browse/justice/young-people

It tells you how your teens crime can impact on you and details Youth Crime Prevention Programmes.

Once you have the facts you are in the best position to help your teen. Your local Youth Offending Team can help you to discover what help is available in your local area. Whatever your teen has done, if you work to keep communicating with them you are in the best possible position to help them though this difficult time.  

                                                     Looking pretty guilty?

Day 40 Politics

40. Politics:

Politics can be a real area of tension in families, particularly if you do not share the same views as your teenager.

We have undergone a period of voter apathy recently but this appears to be changing as more and young people are starting to insist that their voice is heard.

Youth Parliament UK is an organisation that encourages young people to get involved in politics:

http://www.ukyouthparliament.org.uk/

It is a good idea to be well informed about the various political parties, so when your teenager asks questions you are able to answer them accurately.

It is helpful to discuss your views with your teenager in a balanced way and to respect their difference of opinion. Being able to share opinions and have informed debates are useful life skills. If you model this then your teen is likely to adopt this approach and learn how to make their voice heard clearly and concisely.

                                             'Who should I vote for?'

Day 39 Further Education

39. Further Education:

Some teens may decide to go on to Further Education after leaving school. Others may wish to leave education as soon as possible.

The following website tells you what age you can leave school in UK:

https://www.gov.uk/know-when-you-can-leave-school

If your teenager decides that they wish to go to college or university in future, you can help them to get the right advice about the best possible courses and institutions for them.

Depending on their exam grades, they will be given a range of places to choose from. They may decide they want to live at home and go to their local college or they may prefer to move away to the university of their dreams.

The Student Room provide useful advice to anyone wishing to go to university:

http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/content.php?r=15477-guide-to-before-you-go-to-university

When making such an important decision it is important that your teenager knows what grants and loans are available to them.

The following site provides a useful overview:

https://www.gov.uk/student-finance/overview

It is important that every teen makes a decision that is right for them. For some, university is the best option for them but for others an alternative choice may suit them more.

Your role is vital. Listen carefully to what your teen wants to do with their life and then you will be in the best position to offer relevant help and advice.

Day 38 Career Choices

38. Career Choices:

Some teenagers have very clear ideas on what they would like to be when they leave school and they hold this view from a young age. Other teenagers find it very hard to decide what they 'want to be when they grow up.'

There are difficult choices to make. It may be that they receive useful career advice in school but due to budget cuts this advice is not as widespread as you might think.

If your teen has little career guidance in school you can help them to research possible career options.

A good site for parents., carers and teens is:

http://www.careersadviceforparents.org/p/free-expert-advice.html

It explains how apprenticeships work. It covers Higher Education and how to fund your training.

Young children often have clear ideas of what they want to be when they grow up but as they get older this can be more difficult.

Your main role is to listen to your teen and to help them explore the options available to them.

They may need more help than they make out. They may value your advice when filling in application forms for example. It is hard to sell yourself and it can be a lot easier to hear what others think your strengths are.

Encourage and support your teen in their chosen career path. If they know that they can rely on you during good and bad times they are likely to feel supported and cared about.

Day 37 Ambitions

Day 37. Ambitions:

Your teenager is likely to have their own dreams or ambitions. These are unique to them. Encourage your teen to share their ambitions with you. Help them to work towards their goals. If they know that you are there for them, encouraging and supporting them through life they are likely to share their hopes and dreams with you. It is important that your teen is encouraged to have their own ambitions and goals. It can be tempting to encourage them to follow dreams that you have for them.

Parents and carers can be disapproving and suggest that their teenager's ambition is not realistic or achievable but how can you be certain that this is the case?

It may be that they decide they wish for a career in music but you do not consider that they are very musical. Despite this you can encourage them to explore possible routes to achieving their dream. It may be that they do not succeed in becoming a full time musician but they gain great satisfaction from joining a choir, for example.

Equally, you may have high hopes for them to be an artist while they have little interest in painting.

If your teenager asks your opinion then it is good to be honest with your teen but if they haven't asked your opinion it may be better to listen to them and encourage them to explore the options available to them.

At times your teen may succeed and at other times they experience drawbacks and failure. At these times your help, support and encouragement will be particularly valuable.

Day 36 Debt...2 days early as i am out and about!

36. Debt:

Lack of money can be a real issue for teens. They see other people with nice things and they want the same. This can lead to them asking friends and family if they can borrow money to buy the things they desire.

They may see that you borrow money to make ends meet and so they feel that borrowing money is a good solution.

It is important that you teach your teen how to budget.

If they do want to buy something they can save pocket money, get a part-time job or attend a boot-fair to sell unwanted gifts to raise the necessary funds.

It may be that you are happy to lend them money which they pay back from their pocket money over a period of weeks. This can be a good solution but it is important that every teenager realises that falling into excessive debt is not the solution.

These days many companies offer Zero Finance or low interest repayments. It can be very tempting to buy things and worry about paying for it all later.

Some unscrupulous loan companies do offer loans to teenagers with very high interest repayment rates.

If this happens to your teen it is important that you listen to them and try not to judge them too harshly. Assess the seriousness of the situation before helping your teen to decide on the best course of action.

It is important that you don't totally bale out your teen. If they have no consequence for their action they may borrow and get into debt again.

A useful website to consult is provided by the Money Advice Service.

https://www.moneyadviceservice.org.uk/en/articles/how-to-help-teenagers-manage-their-money

Useful tips include asking your teenager to stick to a budget in order to buy the family dinner once a week. You give them the money and they make sure they buy enough food for everyone.

This can help them improve their money awareness skills. This will help them later in life when they may need to survive independently on a tight budget.

Day 35 drink driving early as I am out and about for a while!

Day 35 Drink Driving:

It can be shocking to discover your teenager has been drink-driving. It can be just as frightening to discover that they have been a passenger in a car where someone else has been drink-driving.

This is one area where you need to clearly communicate the seriousness of this action to your teen.

If this is a one off incident then you can warn them that any repeat of this behaviour could have very serious consequences.

If they had accepted a lift with a drunk driver as they had no other way of getting home then you could explain that if they are put in this position again, they should call you and you will arrange for them to be transported safely home.

Whenever your teen goes out it is a good idea to agree what time they will be home and how they will be getting home.

If they are the person who has been drink-driving you need to remind them that if they do this again you will stop them from driving. Take their car key if necessary. It is so important that they know this behaviour is illegal and dangerous and that they could be responsible for the death of themselves and other road users if they continue to behave this way.

The following website tackles this issue providing up to date statistics about the dangers of teen drink driving.

http://www.madd.org/underage-drinking/underage-drinking-statistics.html?referrer=https://www.google.co.uk/

It is hard to accept when you hear that your teen is behaving in this way. It is crucial that you communicate with your teen and ensure that they are aware of the consequences of their actions.

Day 34 Contraception

34. Contraception:

Teenagers often experiment with sexual relationships. To help them to stay safe and protected from unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections it is vital that they know the facts and the range of contraception available to them.

Each form of contraception has its benefits and drawbacks.

You may be opposed to contraception for religious reasons.

Despite this it is helpful that your teen is made aware of the choices open to them so that they can make a decision that is right for them.

Please don't assume that your teenager's school has covered this issue in detail. While Sex and Relationships is on the curriculum , in some cases, teenagers are experimenting with sex prior to this topic being covered at school and in this case the advice given can be 'too little too late.'

If you encourage your teen to talk to you about anything they are more likely to confide in you when they have questions about sex.

It may be that they are too embarrassed to discuss this with you but they may be more willing to talk to an aunt, uncle or family friend.

Once again, NHS Choices and other sites can help you to inform yourself and your teen about the methods of contraception available.

http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Sexandyoungpeople/Pages/Gettingcontraception.aspx

It is said that education can be the best form of contraception. Knowing the facts can help your teen to make the right choices for them.

Day 33 Bullying

33. Bullying:

Some teenagers lives can be made a misery by bullying. It is an issue that can affect young children and remain with them throughout their lives. The teenage years can be particularly difficult as they move from Primary to Secondary school and face the challenges of meeting new people. Family Lives offer a very useful website for parents which gives very good advice on what to do if your child is being bullied.

http://www.bullying.co.uk/advice-for-parents/what-to-do-if-your-child-is-being-bullied/

The key advice that they offer is to listen to your child without getting upset or interrupting when they talk to you.

When someone is being bullied it can be very hard for them to open up and tell someone so it is important that when they do find the courage to tell someone they should be carefully listened to. If this is handled in the wrong way by them feeling that they are not being taken seriously or their parent launches-in with advice and action before hearing what their teen is saying, they are likely to withdraw and may not risk talking about their feelings again for a long time.

Some teenagers who are being bullied choose a less familiar adult to open up to. It may be someone that they trust who works at their school, for example. This is not a negative reflection on their parent. It may well be that they are worried about upsetting their parent and feel less connected to the chosen adult.

Some teens will tell one person and if they don't feel heard they are unlikely to trust anyone again with their news.

This means that it is important if anyone tells you that they are being bullied, you take them seriously and take the time to truly listen to them.

It can be equally distressing to discover that your teen is the one who is doing the bullying.

The first you hear of this may be a phone-call home from the school. It can be hard to accept that your child is capable of this type of behaviour. It is important to listen to the complaints and make sure the complaints have been properly investigated. If the bullying has taken place at school they will have a policy that should be carefully followed and any sanctions given to your child should be fully explained to you and them.

The bullying advice website above offers a helpline that you can call if you would like to talk to someone about this issue.

The reasons why people bully can be complex and some bullies have been bullied themselves at some point in their lives.

A lot of preventative work can be done at home and at school to lessen the likelihood of bullying occurring in the first place and if bullying does occur there are effective ways of tackling this including a carefully supported face to face meeting between the bully and their victim so that they can both understand each others feelings more.

It can be hard to forgive someone who has hurt you or your family but when you forgive someone who is genuinely sorry for their behaviour you can start the healing process. This benefits you as well as the person that you are forgiving.

Day 32 Teen Pregnancy

32. Teen Pregnancy:

It can be a real shock to discover that your daughter is pregnant or that your son's girlfriend is expecting a baby. Once you are told about this it can be hard to believe that your teen has been so careless and many parents and carers express extreme anger when they hear this news.

While this can be a very worrying time for parents and carers, try to listen to your teenager and be measured in your response.

Try and retrieve the facts. How do they know that they are pregnant and have they consulted a doctor? If the pregnancy has been confirmed how do they feel about the news? What about their partner?

It is very tempting to take over and tell your teen what they must do next but remember your teenager is the person who needs to decide what their next steps will be.

If you become too domineering you may drive your teen away at a time when they need you most.

It is important that they receive the right health advice and so you should encourage them to consult a doctor if they have not already done so.

NHS choices can be very helpful if you need to know the facts:

http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/pages/teenager-pregnant.aspx#close

Your teen has some big decisions to make and it is vital that they are made aware of their choices.

It can be very difficult to respect their wishes if they conflict with your own opinions and beliefs. Try to listen to your teen. Make clear that you are there for them and encourage them to make their own decision.