33. Bullying:
Some teenagers lives can be made a
misery by bullying. It is an issue that can affect young children and
remain with them throughout their lives. The teenage years can be
particularly difficult as they move from Primary to Secondary school
and face the challenges of meeting new people. Family Lives offer a
very useful website for parents which gives very good advice on what
to do if your child is being bullied.
The key advice that they offer is to
listen to your child without getting upset or interrupting when they
talk to you.
When someone is being bullied it can be
very hard for them to open up and tell someone so it is important
that when they do find the courage to tell someone they should be
carefully listened to. If this is handled in the wrong way by them
feeling that they are not being taken seriously or their parent
launches-in with advice and action before hearing what their teen is
saying, they are likely to withdraw and may not risk talking about
their feelings again for a long time.
Some teenagers who are being bullied
choose a less familiar adult to open up to. It may be someone that
they trust who works at their school, for example. This is not a
negative reflection on their parent. It may well be that they are
worried about upsetting their parent and feel less connected to the
chosen adult.
Some teens will tell one person and if
they don't feel heard they are unlikely to trust anyone again with
their news.
This means that it is important if
anyone tells you that they are being bullied, you take them seriously
and take the time to truly listen to them.
It can be equally distressing to
discover that your teen is the one who is doing the bullying.
The first you hear of this may be a
phone-call home from the school. It can be hard to accept that your
child is capable of this type of behaviour. It is important to listen
to the complaints and make sure the complaints have been properly
investigated. If the bullying has taken place at school they will
have a policy that should be carefully followed and any sanctions
given to your child should be fully explained to you and them.
The bullying advice website above
offers a helpline that you can call if you would like to talk to
someone about this issue.
The reasons why people bully can be
complex and some bullies have been bullied themselves at some point
in their lives.
A lot of preventative work can be done
at home and at school to lessen the likelihood of bullying occurring
in the first place and if bullying does occur there are effective
ways of tackling this including a carefully supported face to face
meeting between the bully and their victim so that they can both
understand each others feelings more.
It can be hard to forgive someone who
has hurt you or your family but when you forgive someone who is
genuinely sorry for their behaviour you can start the healing
process. This benefits you as well as the person that you are
forgiving.
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